Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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