I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
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I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize