This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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