roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
