is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
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Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
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All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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