Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
