are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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