I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
