U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
