He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
