my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
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I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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