Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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