i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
