just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
