Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
