my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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