Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany

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  (917): i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany http://tfl.nu/9r3u
  Replies (22) Good night (541) Bad night (2469)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.

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  (508): the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful. http://tfl.nu/u6l8
  Replies (14) Good night (749) Bad night (5769)
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  (+48): View more from Poland

  there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover

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  (+48): there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover http://tfl.nu/ynqc
  Replies (13) Good night (1011) Bad night (3128)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.

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  (727): I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this. http://tfl.nu/jm8u
  Replies (19) Good night (4442) Bad night (1143)
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom

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  (408): I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/1a6p
  Replies (7) Good night (881) Bad night (2863)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  OMG THAT WAS YOU?!

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  (207): Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building. (603): OMG THAT WAS YOU?! http://tfl.nu/kd7y
  Replies (42) Good night (9402) Bad night (1382)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.

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  (919): Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday. http://tfl.nu/t5o9
  Replies (2) Good night (930) Bad night (394)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.

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  (734): Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins. http://tfl.nu/ngas
  Replies (5) Good night (544) Bad night (645)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.

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  (508): He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare. http://tfl.nu/rbhx
  Replies (3) Good night (1154) Bad night (513)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole

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  (201): New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole http://tfl.nu/gxas
  Replies (4) Good night (678) Bad night (454)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.

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  (830): Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old. http://tfl.nu/rc4y
  Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (303)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.

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  (612): It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on. http://tfl.nu/eatv
  Replies (4) Good night (530) Bad night (284)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.

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  (901): Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life. http://tfl.nu/oxrc
  Replies (5) Good night (601) Bad night (377)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.

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  (585): Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/ddez
  Replies (2) Good night (220) Bad night (406)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.

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  (513): You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song. http://tfl.nu/yp8g
  Replies (0) Good night (171) Bad night (408)

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