I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice