Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is

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  (586): So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is http://tfl.nu/xff6
  Replies (3) Good night (704) Bad night (1201)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  eat her like coffee?

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  (720): yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers (1-720): eat her like coffee? http://tfl.nu/6p99
  Replies (19) Good night (1249) Bad night (3244)
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  (845): View more from New York

  our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.

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  (845): our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever. http://tfl.nu/jcyn
  Replies (31) Good night (7557) Bad night (698)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season

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  (573): The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season http://tfl.nu/ewwq
  Replies (37) Good night (1755) Bad night (9326)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.

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  (301): If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich. http://tfl.nu/u48k
  Replies (6) Good night (2865) Bad night (969)
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  (607): View more from New York

  please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already

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  (607): please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already http://tfl.nu/5kxb
  Replies (8) Good night (2891) Bad night (1466)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....

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  (773): I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician.... http://tfl.nu/qln8
  Replies (14) Good night (937) Bad night (3519)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission

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  (216): you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission http://tfl.nu/qszs
  Replies (7) Good night (4334) Bad night (733)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"

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  (423): She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride" http://tfl.nu/esrx
  Replies (11) Good night (2752) Bad night (748)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.

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  (770): She is just riding on my slutty coat tails. http://tfl.nu/ci3j
  Replies (6) Good night (2282) Bad night (912)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Semen is not good for contacts.

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  (727): Semen is not good for contacts. http://tfl.nu/krg1
  Replies (10) Good night (1062) Bad night (3249)
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  (818): View more from California

  Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place

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  (818): Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place http://tfl.nu/xlhx
  Replies (60) Good night (16312) Bad night (1024)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.

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  (580): I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing. http://tfl.nu/utec
  Replies (26) Good night (1954) Bad night (731)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.

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  (936): The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant. http://tfl.nu/br3c
  Replies (7) Good night (1017) Bad night (518)
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  (925): View more from California

  You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub

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  (925): You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub http://tfl.nu/o6o5
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (180)

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