Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow? http://tfl.nu/ft8k
  Replies (62) Good night (1320) Bad night (2896)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid. http://tfl.nu/9kqb
  Replies (5) Good night (610) Bad night (2815)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal? http://tfl.nu/0hlu
  Replies (15) Good night (4911) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit. http://tfl.nu/4xb1
  Replies (9) Good night (4793) Bad night (1281)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something... http://tfl.nu/7h7f
  Replies (21) Good night (7134) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her http://tfl.nu/s6o1
  Replies (42) Good night (8011) Bad night (1359)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight. http://tfl.nu/9c3v
  Replies (40) Good night (3363) Bad night (7024)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death http://tfl.nu/7rv2
  Replies (9) Good night (2988) Bad night (1258)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown. http://tfl.nu/wms3
  Replies (6) Good night (5475) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/3jcw
  Replies (5) Good night (2426) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel. http://tfl.nu/9ny9
  Replies (9) Good night (1777) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's not even 9:30 yet..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk. (1-215): It's not even 9:30 yet.. http://tfl.nu/cpxo
  Replies (6) Good night (855) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated? http://tfl.nu/6luu
  Replies (2) Good night (653) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me? http://tfl.nu/cm4x
  Replies (8) Good night (418) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me. http://tfl.nu/wbcl
  Replies (4) Good night (776) Bad night (449)

Randomize