Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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