he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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