I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly