I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
