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• (216): View more from Ohio

  when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  damn...impressive bar tab

  (216): View more from Ohio

  no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off

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• (914): View more from New York

  i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  She went to her drug test stoned.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl

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• (607): View more from New York

  Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.

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• (347): View more from New York

  Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.

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