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• (406): View more from Montana

  Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.

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• (805): View more from California

  I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.

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• (661): View more from California

  You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me

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• (949): View more from California

  I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now

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