i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
