Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
