We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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