It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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