Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
