I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
