i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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