this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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