maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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