sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
