It's like a parade of train wrecks.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
