He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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