Can i not drive my cunt home
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
