I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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