ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
