some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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