the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
