he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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