Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize