i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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