Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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