Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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