im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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