Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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