didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
