New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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