I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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