dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
