If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
