Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
