I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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