I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
