An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
did you just send me my own nude
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
