so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
