so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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