hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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