A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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