The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Is it because I queefed?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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