y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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