Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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