hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
