You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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