And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
