Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it glows. i had to have it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
