do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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