He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
