Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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