I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
