i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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