For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
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We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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