They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
