The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
