What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
